Ok, you piranhas, here it is.
I hope it lives up to all this massive hype. Don't blame me if it doesn't. You rushed my creative process :P
Anyhoo. Let's begin the tale, shall we?
************************************
So, there I lie in all of my half-naked, four-shaped glory. Feeling a slight breeze on my...you know.
She went for the pot of hot wax and spreaded 'er around with her wax-stick tongue depressor thingy.
It was a little hot. But not so bad. Almost relaxing.
But not for long.
*rrrrip*
Oh my. Such a disturbing sound. It's almost worse than how it feels. Almost.
To be honest, the pain wasn't so horrible. It was fleeting. Though I won't deny feeling a little raw after...
After a few turns at mercilessly tearing out my comfortably rooted hairs she began the 'obligatory chat.'
You all know what I'm talking about. The 'how ya doin,' 'where ya from,' that everyone in the service industry worth their tip starts up if they know they'll have to spend more than two minutes of their time dealing with you.
Not that it's a bad thing. But, for most people, there is a time and a place.
Fortunately, I am not one of them.
*rrrrip*
Her: So, you go to school at SAIT?"
Me: Uh huh. I live in res.
*rip*
Her: Oh, cool.
Me:*flinch* Yeah. It's alright.
After that, some random chat about the suckiness/non-suckiness of res ensued. It was awkward and bumpy at first...no. Not that. The chat.
Well. That too.
Now, to be honest, the idea of chatting with the skinny girl who's body hair is probably only visible under a magnifying glass didn't really jive with me, but I started to get into it. Talking is my thing after all.
Plus, it was better than silently listening to my yeti heritage be torn from my body. Not to mention the post-rip sting. It was a good distraction from that too.
Me: Sooo, um, where'd you go to school?
*rrrriiiiip*
Her: Prince George.
Me: *blidsided by pain and extreme coincidence* Really? Me too! Weird.
Her: Cool. I went to DP Todd. Where'd you go?
Me: DP Todd too, actually...
*rip*
Her: Wow. I wonder if you know anyone I know.
Me: Maybe.
She proceeded to list off a few people I'd never heard of, or perhaps just didn't care enough to rememeber, as a vague idea of who she might be began to creep into the back of my mind, unnoticed for the moment.
Until...
Her: Do you know (a guy we will call Huge Crush from grade 9. For obvious reasons.)
Me: *has a VERY good idea of what's coming* Yeah. I gradded with him.
Her: Really? He's my little brother!
*rrrrip*
Me: Seriously?!! I was like in love with him in grade 9!
(No, I have no idea why I said that either.)
Her: Wow, what an interesting way to meet.
*rip*
Me: Yeah, "Here's my crotch. Nice to meet ya!" (Yup. What comes outta my mouth boggles my mind too.)
Her: I'll just tell him we met while I was waxing your eyebrows.
Funny lady.
Her: Oh. Would you like the back done?
Me: Uh, sure...(the back?)
Her: Ok. Flip over.
I'll leave the rest to your imaginations.
So, that was my brazilian experience. In all, very funny and not as bad as it's made out to be.
The after effects are nice too...although, I won't deny feeling a bit like a 12 year-old girl.
In conclusion, anyone who finds upkeep of their underpant area a hassle, I would definitely reccamend the full monty (aka Brazilian wax. It was rather liberating. And heck, I made a new friend!)...unless you don't like pain. Then I would suggest growing out your leg hair, changing your name to Rainbow-Dawn and developing a liking for granola, because au naturel is the only truly painless alternative.
But, that's just my opinion.
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15 comments:
THANK YOU FOR POSTING!!
haha, that was hilarious... "I was in love with him in grade 9!"
The only name I remember coming from that time era was I think from your sister... and his name was carey hamilton or something...
Tee hee. you need to post more often. Thanks for the story!
YAYYYYY!!!! Four years later she posts!! *cough* anyhoo, wonderfully written as always. You shoulda got a "landing strip" kinda makes you feel less like a 12 year old, or so I'm told. Anotehr random fact, waxing your armpits is more painfull, the nerves are more sensitive, and the hair roots deeper. But I like au natural, untill we put me in the pool, then I'm all, OH *@(% shoulda shaved...
Yeah, it's true. I've waxed my underarms and at least the first couple times you wax it does hurt more than that. Although there is a spot or two on the down below where I might debate it...
And no. I was not talking about Carey :P
Finally closure I am so happy you posted YAY! I Am gald everything went well and you made a new friend:D
Prince George is impossible to avoid. When I was on the ferry going to Vancouver, I met a man from PG.
And today, the lady in front of me at Safeway was also from PG.
We're like the bubonic plague.
Or locusts. Locusts who wear tacky baseball caps.
My story is better....
So I'm standing in a Bus stop in St. Catherines ON, and I start chatting with this asian couple. They ask when the bus is comming, and I reply I don't know I'm from outa town, so they ask where, I say BC, and he looks at me and says "Oh, Prince George?" My eyes open a lil wider, I say "Yes actually... I go to school there." He says, "CNC?" *in my head i'm like WTF!??!!* but ya, long story short that guys g/f went on exchange to CNC, and he went and visited her... ssssoooo random.
I don't wear a tacky baseball cap... and why on earth would you ever think that waxing your scrotum is a good idea!!! I mean... whoa....
Anyways, it was a lovely story, and I look forward to the next one.
Complaints about the hair makes you do stupid things. Plus there are no blades in a waxing kit...I used to take comfort in that idea.
That...is horrifying.
Squirrel attack!!
F THE SQUIRREL!
hahaha yaaaaay! your random adventures amaze and amuse me! :)
I'm sorry to be a complainer, but I hate that effing squirrel!
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